“Tasting Notes For A Teetotalling President”
“1. The mouthfeel of the Stormy Daniels interview “60 Minutes”
is complex, gradually revealing itself in a mellow bitterness
that still has so much more to tell. With hints of self knowledge
paired with humor, graced by silvery-pink Underside of the
Ash Tree lipstick, the 2018 Stormy holds delicious allure,
offering undertones of raspberries, as its mystery resolves
on the tongue with crumbling sweetness and a sparkle of
brilliance not often seen in so humble a grape.
2. The terroir was propitious for this year’s Banished Secretary 2018,
whose taste lies primarily beneath the surface, its low notes shivering
with incautious power, owing to the convergence of double allegations
whose force pairs them in an assertive way. Though some find it
too strong, others will take pleasure in the sour-grape aftertaste
of this forceful wine, whose bruised-eye glossiness would best be paired
with artisanal young-barnyard-animal cheese.
3. An impressive , bold taste can be savored as the enigmatic qualities
inherent in our 2018 Special Prosecutor[limited quantities] cause
smacking of the lips and eye rolls of delight comparable to what one feels
when viewing the stars on a winter evening in Moscow. A sturdy wine whose
flavors unfold quickly, like collapsed tents, Special P astonishes with a
minerality rarely perceived outside the graveyard.
4. The taste of Melania 2018 holds its own among other fortified wines.
The major notes stride forward after a slight delay, as the wine descends
down the palate. One is sure to be captivated by this meticulously enhanced
wine, a true sparkling diamond. Chef has created a special recipe to pair
with this vintage, available on the vineyard’s Web site [search “Your hide
is cooked”], with locally sourced “smashed” potatoes underlying
deliciously larded meat.
5. Mar-a-lago 2018 contains amusingly golf-ball-size notes of sour
cherries, intermingled with predominant notes of private-plane
fuselage, grass clippings, and Florida lemons. It is best drunk early,
like a Beaujolais Noveau, and you are advised to act quickly, as some
experts believe that this wine may soon go out of production.
6. As growers know, the shifting exigencies of our environment
sometimes make it necessary to widen our categories of appreciation.
It has been said, with regard to the Vin Americain 2018, that even
the archangels might be counted on to blow their trumpets [no pun
intended] in surprise. With an approach as brash as a wildfire, this
wine’s taste of charred almond intermix with flavors of gravel
and redwood and top notes of burned squirrel, providing the perfect
accompaniment to barbecued ribs slathered with our special sauce
[ketchup “blood” with smoked woodland mushrooms]. This
exquisite sauce is equally good with rabbit, quail, elephant and donkey.”
Author Ann Beattie.
Excerpted from The New Yorker, April 23, 2018.
Publisher, Conde Nast, a division of Advance magazine Publishers,
1 World Trade Center, New York, NY 10007.
Who is Ann Beattie, pray tell?, her stiletto use of analogy is superb!