The Heiligenstadt Testament [part two]

So I continue this miserable existence–truly

miserable, as my body is so sensitive that my condition

can change rapidly from very good to very bad. Patience–

that must be my guide, as I am determined, and I hope will

always remain so, to endure until it pleases the inexorable

Parcae to break the thread. Perhaps my lot will improve,

perhaps not–at the age of 28 I was compelled to become

a philosopher. It has not been easy, and more difficult for

an artist than for anyone else. Oh God, you look down

on my inner soul, and know that it is filled with love of

humanity and the desire to do good, Oh my fellow men,

when you read this someday, reflect that you have done

me wrong, and let him who is unfortunate comfort himself

with the thought that he has found someone equally

unfortunate who, despite all the burdens placed on him

by nature, did all which was in his power to earn a place

among worthy artists and human beings.–You, my

brothers Carl and——, as soon as I am dead, if Professor

Schmidt is still living, ask him in my name to describe my

disease, and add the paper I have written here to the docu-

ments of my illness, so that after my death the world

will be reconciled with me as far as possible.–At the same

time I hereby nominate you both as heirs to my little

property [if it can be so called] ; share it honestly, live in

harmony and help each other. You know that the harm

you did me has long since been forgiven. I thank you

brother Carl, in particular, for the goodness you have

shown me of late. My wish is that your lives will be

better and less careladen than mine. Urge your children

to follow the path of virtue, as that alone can bring

happiness–money cannot. I speak from experience, as

virtue alone has sustained me in my misery, and it was

thanks to virtue, together with my art, that I did not end

my life by committing suicide. Farewell, and love one

another.– I thank all my friends, especially Prince Lich-

nowsky and Professor Schmidt.–I wish Prince Lich-

nowsky’s instruments to be kept safely by one of you, but

do not make them an occasion for strife between you ;

as soon as they can serve you in a more useful way, sell

them–how happy I shall be if, in my grave, I can still be

of use to you both! So be it, I go joyfully towards death.

If it comes before I have had the chance to develop all my

artistic abilities, that will be too soon for me, despite my

hard fate, and I would wish it to be postponed– yet should

I not be satisfied, would it not release me from a condition

of endless suffering? Come when you will death, I will

meet you resolutely. Farewell, and do not entirely forget

me when I am dead : I have deserved to be remembered

by you, as I have often thought of you during my lifetime.

May you be happy.

Ludwig van Beethowen.

Heiligenstadt. 6th October 1802.”

Beethoven had two younger brothers, Carl and Johann, yet he

left a blank space in lieu of Johann’s name in his will; interesting.

Also interesting is the fact that he wrote his will some

twenty-four years before his death on March 26th, 1827.

Islander.